Sunday, February 22, 2009

and you run and you run to catch up with the sun, but its sinking

well, i got him back. the other day in science, i totally fell apart. i was down. way down. downer than ive ever been. he said he didnt know what he was thinking when he went away and wanted to try again. i had been waiting so long to hear those words, but it was strangely hard to accept. im sure this time around will be better, since we both know what we did wrong. he felt like he had my life in his hands (which he did) and it was too heavy of a burden for him to carry. all i ask of him is that he talks every once and a while. i want to know what's on his mind. but yesterday, we were on the phone, and for the past 2 months or so it seems, our conversations ended with a stark goodbye. but this conversation ended with me saying goodbye, and him saying "i love you". i burst into tears of joy after he hung up. just what i wanted to hear.

i really am getting pretty effing tired of living here. i wish we were older, so we could drive off to chicago and start a new life there together, like he promised me we would someday. but this time, i know better than to believe him for sure. of course, that is, more than anything, what i want. to spend my life with him, in a city of art and culture. we probably couldnt get much farther than chicago anyways. 

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About Me

my name is katie and i'm 13 years old. if i was older, i wouldn't be here anymore. one of these days i'll get out. the adults say that i waste too much time. i might, but at least i go slowly enough to realize that starbucks isn't the maverick, that the speed limit isn't 150, and that theres a little girl in front of me at the supermarket. i like to think that the days when people drank tea and ate little biscuits really existed. those are lies but recreation of lies can be almost true. so i hope you can remember the times that never happened and unwind.